THE 6 LAWS OF RELATIONSHIP

“…almost 85% of our relationship depends on attraction, attention, admiration, approval, acceptance, and appreciation” Tosin Osemeobo

“…true affection is altruistic” Tosin Osemeobo

In this series of life management success, I will be sharing with you what govern relationships in the social context. These six laws are visible in our day to day interactions especially with the opposite sex. According to Jim Rohn, Success in life and relationships is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become.it is helping people with more than just their jobs: it is helping them with their lives.  It is my prayer that this piece will help you enjoy fulfilling relationships in all aspects of your life. Do enjoy your reading.

Human lives are generally governed by principle, philosophies or laws. Whatever we do count for something, our actions, speech, and behavior reflect one thing, and that is the guiding principles upon which our lives are built. These principles are derived from our beliefs, understanding, friends, parents, religion, books and even mentors. They are formed gradually day by day as we assume full measure in adulthood. One good thing about abiding by these principles is that they make life more interesting, understanding and rewarding.

Relationships are cardinal to our existence. According to psychologist Sidney Jourard, fully 85 percent of your happiness in life will come from your personal relationships. Your interactions and the time that you spend with the people you care about will be the major source of the pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction that you derive daily. The other 15 percent of your happiness will come from your accomplishments.  Rick warren puts it this way; we discover our role in life through our relationship with others. Since we are formed for a family and fashioned for companionship, we must relate with ourselves on a daily basis.

Often, “We behave as if relationships are something to be squeezed into our schedule. We talk about finding time for our family or making time for people in our lives. That gives the impression that relationships are just a part of our daily lives along with many other responsibilities. But actually relationships are what life is all about. Relationships, not achievements or the acquisition of things, are what matters most in life. So why do we allow our relationships to get the short end of the stick?

When our schedules become overloaded, we start skimming relationally, cutting back on giving the time, energy, and attention that loving relationships require” Rick Warren.

We can derive more from our relationship; we can make it more meaningful and interesting. This is the reason i will share with you today in my series of life management success what I tag, The Six Laws of Relationship. Understanding these laws will help you effectively manage your life for success. I hope you would enjoy it.

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Attraction is what happens to you when you first gaze at something or someone. It is like a force which pulls things toward each other. It is a spontaneous thing, once you are attractive, you draw attention. You are first attracted to someone before any serious interaction is ignited, it is clear that we may not be able to do anything serious about out looks but we can do allot about our attractiveness.

To be attractive therefore, you must first develop a healthy self-esteem, because people will see you the way you see yourself. Be proud about your looks, I don’t mean a conceited human reasoning, but a deep satisfaction that comes from the fact that you are at your very best state.

Secondly, place a high value on yourself, I don’t mean pride, I mean don’t stoop too low, or sell yourself too cheap to any person of no repute.

Thirdly, stand for something. If you don’t stand for something you would fall for everything.  This talks about your core values, beliefs, moral etc.

Fourthly, don’t be tempted to go naked. In the past, fashion was about what people were wearing. But today, fashion is about what people are not wearing.

People open almost every part of their body in the name of fashion leaving nothing for the imagination. Dress well to be addressed well.

Fifthly, enhance your communication skills. Learn to speak simple, decent and correct English.

Sixthly, be the people person. Smile broadly when you talk with people, show big and sincere appreciations for little assistance offered, give people more than they expect, believe in their natural abilities and always appreciate them for what they naturally possess. And finally, be you. Don’t pretend to be what you are not.

THE LAW OF ATTENTION

Attention here talks about the interest that you show in somebody or something. It is like a special care or action. It is the attention you give to people that spur up intimate proximity, when you focus on the person, stare at the person, rest your desire on the person, or look deeply and thoughtfully,  you are operating under the law of attention. It is only those you pay attention to, that show you interest. People who attract attention are first attractive. When you pay attention to details, you gain insight.

Attention is a supernatural law, the holy book of the Christians said, “be still and know that I am God” Still in that sentence implies keen attention, quietness and focus.  You don’t understand what you don’t pay attention to. If you want to improve your rapport, make your spouse wow and enjoy your relationship, pay attention to him/her. Study the person, tell them occasionally your findings and over time intimacy would be develop

THE LAW OF ADMIRATION

Admiration here talks about the feeling of respect and liking for somebody or something. It means to respect someone for what they are, or for what they have done. It also means to look at something and think that it is attractive. You only admire what in the first place attracted you, so to understand admiration you must know what attracts you, admiration gives expressions to your appreciation. According to William James, The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. You appreciate and attract whatever you admire. Appreciation and admiration works hand in hand.  People who possess characteristics that are appealing to the eyes and people whose dispositions are excellent are fondly admired, and when you admire something you show it by appreciating it. So appreciation gives expression to your admiration.

Admiration is a law that says I can’t ignore what gain my attention. Admiration talks more of your level of appreciation, how you appreciate beauty, wisdom, charisma, body chemistry, interaction techniques, etc. Admiration is the brain child of attention

THE LAW OF AFFECTION

Affection here talks about affinity, a person’s feelings of love. True affection is to love and don’t even expect to be loved in return, the law of affection says you are beautiful because I love you and not I love you because you are beautiful. Whatever you love or have a deep affection for, becomes beautiful. Affection has a way of making us dwell in the gorgeous part of the other person’s personality.

 THE LAW OF AFFECTION

The law of affection is altruistic it is all about the other person, it says no to the self-trinity of I, me and myself. When you fondly think of people or someone special the law of affection is at work, when you give special attention to people or that special person, the law of affection is at work. The law of affection governs our lives, ranging from our choices of favorite food, games, color, friends, career, relationships etc.

THE LAW OF APPROBATION

Approbation is approval, or permission to do something, almost 85% of our relationship depends on approval and acceptance, when we walk up to people we are attracted to, people we lavish much attention on, people we keep admiring, or have a deep affection for, all we desire or need is just an approval, and that settles it all.

The approval or consent we get from people we long for goes a long way to determine the success of that relationship. Approval can be verbal or non-verbal, it can be through gestures or signs like smiling, nodding, interest or other body language. Approbation are the starting point of any active relationship. Until each party approval of each other no meaningful relationship can start.

THE LAW OF ASSOCIATION

This law says I am a social being, I can’t live in isolation. We all tend to associate with one another whether we like it or not. In our home, college, workplace, cab, superstore, etc.  This urge becomes more obvious when we spot out someone special from the crowed and take bold steps to kindle an interaction. We all desire to be with people of repute, people we can be proud of anywhere and anytime.

It is the associations we keep that form the sum total of our lives, because we build the major parts our lives and character with the little particles from our associates. Particles like how they live their lives, their core values, mode of interactions, perception of issues, things they do etc. The law of association talks about how you associate with people, a connection or relationship between people. Association is like the end product of the above five principle.

When you are attracted to someone (attraction), you give your full attention to that person’s details (attention). You admire the qualities you discover in that person (admiration), (affection) is developed. The next face is to ask the person out for a relationship, (approbation) and if the person approves of your intentions, an (association) is born. Understanding this process gives you an upper hand in dealing with people, making friendship, and building lasting relationships.

These laws are not just meant to be read but applied; it is my prayer that this series of life management success would produce positive and outstanding results in your life

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